May 31, 2017
Tatemae, Honne and the Gaijin Boss
Japanese people are famous for having learnt over many centuries how to get along with others. High density living in the modern era and village communal agricultural activities in the past, have both seeded probably the best example of how to have a complex, but low friction society. Arguments, fights, road rage do occur but compared to anywhere else with such a large population pressure cooker, Japan doesn't even rate as a contender for worst practice. The concepts of tatemae or proffered reality and honne or actual reality, are a big part of creating that harmonious environment.
Of course, as foreigners we initially struggle with this separation of the real world and the imagined world. It can seem that Japanese people can be two faced - saying one thing but doing another. Being the bearer of bad news rarely becomes an issue in Japan, because no one ever delivers it. No shooting the messenger here because people have learnt to be extremely circumspect about how much they tell others and how they tell it. The language is an excellent tool for this, because it is so excellent for vagary.
Western society does the same thing, but we tend to notice it more here. At home, if your father-in-law has been on a "see-food-diet" (see food and eat it) but asks if you think he has lost weight, you are likely to plunge right into a tatemae answer that will tell him what he wants to hear. No unvarnished truth that he is obese and there is no difference from the last time you saw him, which would be the honne. So we do it in our cultures as well, but Japan has institutionalized it.
Being indirect, vague, circuitous are all admirable traits for Japanese communicators.
Rude, unrepentant, bombastic Westerners, card carrying members of the "tell it like it is" society, have trouble with what they see as duplicitous behavior. What do you do when people won't tell you the truth? How can you lead an organization when you don't know what is going on and when bad news only eeks its way out, when all efforts to hide it have failed? How can people be held accountable when you can't count on them to adhere to the internal rules around transparency.
It gets worse of course when you are the boss. Any boss, in almost any culture, will be getting served up some form of tatemae, simply because they are the boss. People want to tell you what want to hear, as a means of sucking up to you for some possible advantage or to avoid your wrath if it all goes the wrong way. There are plenty of killed messengers in the Western world and we have all learnt that that role is one to avoid whenever possible. Japan just takes the mastery level up a couple of notches.
As the boss, how do we get to the bottom of what is going on, if we can't rely on those who work for us to speak up. We have a few options available to us. Find a confidant, who is plugged into what is really going on who can tell you the truth. Be careful of the "gaijin handler". This is the English speaking Japanese staff member who uses their English communication facility to get close to power and to be a double agent. They may look like they are on your side, but actually they know you won't be around forever and they have to build powerful patrons from within to get that all important leg up to the top. They are there to feed you what others want you to know, make sure you don’t find out too much and keep an eye on you. It is hard to spot the difference between a confidant and a “handler”, but just be careful and keep your eyes open.
A better method is to be a great boss Be the boss people can trust and will not feel fear, whenever they have to talk truth to power. You might imagine that is you already. Wasn't it you who erupted when the target achievement was poor or the deadline was missed or someone did something dumb? Everyone is watching the boss like a hawk. How does the boss react to bad news? What happens when the pressure is really on, does that bon vivant boss become a monster? Keeping calm, no matter what, takes courage, patience and practice.
Building a personal relationship of trust with staff means making time available for them. The boss who can't manage their time or can't delegate is just a leaf being blown around by the wind of busyness. They can't coach, can't create real relationships because they don't have the time. So make the time and get busy working on time management and delegation skills. Work on communication skills.
We found in our research that high engagement levels are not an accident of fate. They are created through the boss taking specific actions to build a relationship with the staff that translates into having more honne conversations and less tatemae substitutes.
When that trust is there, then you will find out what is really happening. The way to build those high engagement levels is to make staff feel valued. Those educated in the “expendable staff” tradition will struggle with this one. “Staff are there to produce numbers and it is my way or the highway around here, because I have responsibility for the numbers, thank you very much”.
Instead, make the time to talk with the staff. Find out what motivates them, become their assistant to make what they want happen. Back them, praise them, support them and good things start to happen. Making people feel valued is a science but it can be very wearing. Start with your true intention - what is it? Snow the punters or actually establish a real relationship based on trust? Get this right at the outset and you will be in a much better and more credible position.
Okay, you may never find out all that is going on, just because you are the boss and this is Japan and you can't read the air. However, you will get a much better clue and will be infinitely better informed that your contemporaries at other gaishikei multi-national companies.
When you arrive in Japan you are dispatched to a lake. A heavy fog has descended on the lake and you are swimming around looking for a direction. You can hear noises and make out indiscriminate shapes, but not such more. After a couple of years the fog beings to lift ever so slightly and now you can see the shore and a bit of an island maybe. As things finally start to clear, you are sent home or on to you next post. The way to get out of the fog earlier is to understand how Japan works. The locals are not about to change it anytime soon and certainly not to suit “transient you”.
Create staff members who feel empowered by you. Make them feel valued in a sincere way. Make time to communicate and build the relationships.
The fog will lift and tatemae and honne will just be cultural steps to succeeding in Japan, rather than roadblocks imperiling your meteoric rise to the top. Accept the boss is always the boss and that getting full disclosure will never happen, no matter what.
Action Steps
- Understand we have our own versions of tatemae and hone
- Be careful of the gaijin handler
- Keep calm and never show your emotions, especially anger, in front of the team
- Work on building trust in you
- make the time available to build good relationships with your staff, regardless of how busy you find yourself
- Accept that, as the boss, you will never find out what is really going on in Japan anyway. That is the honne!
Engaged employees are self-motivated. The self-motivated are inspired. Inspired staff grow your business but are you inspiring them? We teach leaders and organisations how to inspire their people. Want to know how we do that? Contact me at greg.story@dalecarnegie.com
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About The Author
Dr. Greg Story: President, Dale Carnegie Training Japan
In the course of his career Dr. Greg Story has moved from the academic world, to consulting, investments, trade representation, international diplomacy, retail banking and people development. Growing up in Brisbane, Australia he never imagined he would have a Ph.D. in Japanese decision-making and become a 30 year veteran of Japan.
A committed lifelong learner, through his published articles in the American, British and European Chamber journals, his videos and podcasts “THE Leadership Japan Series”, "THE Sales Japan series", THE Presentations Japan Series", he is a thought leader in the four critical areas for business people: leadership, communication, sales and presentations. Dr. Story is a popular keynote speaker, executive coach and trainer.
Since 1971, he has been a disciple of traditional Shitoryu Karate and is currently a 6th Dan. Bunbu Ryodo (文武両道-both pen & sword) is his mantra and he applies martial art philosophies and strategies to business.